"Aversion of death is necessary to the survival of the species, rather in the spirit of the French proverb to the effect that fear of the gendarme is the beginning of wisdom (43)."
To have a healthy fear of death ensures that a person takes the necessary precausions to preserve their own life. For example, you would not walk across a busy street without looking both ways for fear of being struck and killed by a car.
"an impatience with the affairs of others, a weary wish to be left alone, to 'finish my duties and be gone (43)."
Come Home
I grieve the loss of my mother; yet she is still alive
She walks this Earth, but it is as if she has already gone
Her thoughts are of her brother - long dead
He keeps sending her back from the abyss;
Telling her she has unfinished business
He calls to her from the grave - come home
Finish your business - then come home
-T.M. Allen
"It is just as neurotic in old age not to focus upon the goal of death as it is in youth to repress fantasies which have to do with the future (45)."
When you reach old age and you realize that your best days are gone and your body aches; you can't help but look upon the inevitable fate that awaits you. When you are young, you think your invinsible. You can only imagine the future. Some old people, in the end, welcome death and some go kicking and screaming. I wonder which one I'll be?
"As matters now stand, the bitterness of death makes life more precious to us, especially since physicians can't cure a man once he's dead (46)."
Once you've experienced the death of a loved one, you realize how precious life really is. We only have a brief stay here on Earth. We need to appreciate the people in our lives because, if you live long enough, you will see many of them die before you.
Once your gone, there's no coming back this way. Nobody here gets out alive. Life will go on whether we're here or not. We need to live in the moment and enjoy life while we have it.
The Oxford Book of Death: Suicide
"So proud she was to die
It made us all ashamed
That what we cherished, so unknown
To her desire seemed -
So satisfied to go
Where none of us should be
Immediately - that Anguish stooped
Almost to Jealousy (83)"
I think that the person the author is talking about in this poem did not think about the people she would leave behind. She was so intent on her end that she could not think about anything but her own pain. That she would value life so little. Her disdain for life is a form of arrogance.
After the shock and shame comes envy; that her life's worries and struggles are over. She no longer has to deal with life's trials and tribulations. Her family and friends were left here; abandoned in grief.
Suicide is a very selfish act.
The people that are left behind are confused and filled with shame. They ask, "Why couldn't they have told someone?" "Why didn't they ask for help?" "Did they feel that they had no other options?" Having had a brother commit suicide when I was a young girl, I know the feelings of shame and confusion. Those questions don't get answered, you go on for the rest of your life asking "Why," and "If only...."
We all have to die at some point. We all live with that inevitability. But to actually give up your life and have no regard for its sanctity, flies in the face of the accepted "norm."
"There are certainly far more people who do not kill themselves because they are too cowardly to do so than those who kill themselves out of cowardice...(86)."
The uncertainty of what happens after death is usually enough of a deterent for most people. A healthy dose of fear has helped to keep the human race from dying out. Most people's survival instincts will kick in and prevent them from even thinking about taking their own life.
The ones that do succeed in taking their own lives are viewed as cowards in our society. They are seen as weak because they could not cope. The act of suicide goes against human nature. Life is a gift that should be cherished, not carelessly thrown away. Once your dead there is no chance for redemption.
The Sacred Art of Dying: How World Religions Understand Death
Pleasure is brief as a flash of lightening
Or like an Autumn shower, only for a moment...
Why should I then covet the pleasures
you speak of?
I see your bodies are full of all impurity?:
Birth and Death, sickness and age are yours.
I see the highest prize, hard to attain by men-
The true and constant wisdom of the wise (46)
Buddha was referring to the fact that human beings are driven by human desires and pleasures. It was his intent to rid himself of these desires and pleasures and he sought to achieve enlightenment. He knew that human life is fleeting and would one day come to an end. He felt trapped in his human body. He saw the human flesh as weak and susceptible to disease and would eventually circum to temptation. Not many human beings are even capable of thinking this way. Most people are too selfish and egocentric to want to give up the desires and pleasures of the flesh for spiritual or intellectual enlightenment.
Success Built To Last; Creating a Life That Matters: Portfolio of Passions - It's Not About Balance
"If I see something I don't like, I try to change it and if I can't change it, I change my position of looking at it, and then by seeing it from a different angle, I might be able to change it, or I might find some good in it that I can use, which might make it change itself. "If you find that the world just won't work the way you want it to - if you can't make the things happen despite your very best effort - then change the way you look at it (51)." - Mya Angelou
I think Mya Angelou hit the nail right on the head. If your life is not working for you, maybe you need to step back and look at things from a different perspective. Put a positive spin on things. Try to glean from it something that you can ultimtely use in a beneficial way.
"As culturally defined, balance is in fact bullshit - as a popular concept it ranks right up there with the idea that there is just one passion for your life, and when you know what it is, you'll be happy. It rarely works that way (53)."
I don't know how many times I've hear people say, "I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up." Most people spin their wheels all their lives and never find it. The reason they never find it is because it doesn't exist. They are searching for this concept of happiness (this impossible dream). As a society, we have set ourselves up for failure. There is no silver bullet.
I bought into this illusion too. Don't just do one thing you love; do everything you love. By limiting ourselves to one thing, we tend to put off till tomorrow all of the things in our lives that give us pleasure. Just because it doesn't make you money doesn't mean it has no value.
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